Recent UK Politics, my summary...

A relative in the States said news coverage of what's happened with our election wasn't very good over there, but it was obviously more interesting that a typical election and asked me to explain.

Obviously that's a huge subject, and the more information I added, the more background I felt was needed and I ended up writing a lot, even at the end of it all, it's still only a summary - and as I'm a total masochist I thought I'd share it here for "review"...

I attempted to stay mostly impartial, but it clearly has a left/liberal bias, other than that, I'd be interested to hear of anything I've got factually wrong or misunderstood?  Or any gaping holes I've missed out...

Dons flame-proof suit and stands-back...

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin... 

Some Background
For a stupidly long time, both main parties have been indistinguishably centrist, (fatuous remarks warning) the main way to tell them apart being the colour of their ties...  You effectively had the choice of whether you wanted them to laugh or look sympathetic while they shafted you...

A few years ago Nigel Farage's UKIP, started getting traction with shouty right wing fear-mongering; "too many foreigners, caused by the EU's open border policy, sponging on our benefits" etc...  This appealed to the further right "Eurosceptic" Tory voters who never wanted to join the EU in the first place, as well as typically working class Labour voters who see jobs disappearing, communities changing and finite public services being over-saturated.
Both parties noticed voters leaving them; to appease growing elements of dissent within his party David Cameron agreed to have the referendum on EU membership, never believing it would happen, just hoping to shut up his detractors... We all know how that turned out...

Meanwhile, Jeremy Corbyn, a more left wing candidate than Labour had seen for decades, was nominated for leader, almost as a joke.  However this move from the centre chimed with many Labour party members and he was voted in, much to the annoyance of many in his own party, which has lead to much in-fighting...
The press, and other members of his party have vilified Corbyn ever since, and the notion of a left wing party succeeding has been hugely derided.

At the previous General Election (a couple of years ago) the Torys gained an overall majority, but only just. This effectively means that getting parliament to do what you want is harder than it could be.  With 'Brexit' looming, and May's decision to go for a 'Hard Brexit' (all-or-nothing & piss off the EU and non-brexit voters as much as possible) she needed/wanted all the voting power possible.
Additionally, May took over after Cameron stepped down post-Brexit, as opposed to having been voted in by the public, which some were arguing didn't give her the mandate to go for such a drastic version of 'Brexit' (I really hate the term Brexit, it trivialises a significant event, but I guess we're stuck with it), there's also an element of her ego in play here too...

With the polls showing that the Torys had a massive lead over Labour (>20%), and the opposition looking weak and chaotic due to in-fighting, May thought she could make an easy land grab and kill several birds with one stone.

But...

• Since the Torys got in they've slashed benefits and public services massively
• Only a very slight majority voted for Brexit, so going for a hard uncompromising version pissed a lot of people off
• Corbyn held a blinder of a campaign, even managing to engage young voters who typically don't bother, whereas May appeared to act as though she didn't need to campaign and even published a manifesto that hurt typical Tory voters

In other-words the polls/May misread the public mood.

So...

In the end, the Torys gained the most votes on the night but took fewer seats than they had to start with - not enough to govern on their own - meaning they have had to form a coalition or risk losing power.  To do this they've aligned themselves with a particularly unpleasant party from Northern Ireland (run by creationist, homophobes etc) which runs the risk of damaging the various peace accords that have been stable(ish) for many years and potentially reigniting "the troubles" from the 70s/80s - who knows, Islamist terrorists may eventually have some competition over here...

Despite the Torys starting with;

• being in power
• there being no need to call an election
• the polls all being massively in their favour

They now;

• have fewer seats
• are dependent on an obscure extremist party for power
• look foolish and weak
• have enabled Corbyn to no longer seem like a joke but rather appear as a credible opposition to more of the population instead.

If it wasn't all so terrifying it would be hilarious!

To the future...

May is clinging on by the skin of her teeth, but looks very weak and even with the coalition they only have a 2 seat majority.

It looks inevitable that she'll be gone before too long, and if only 2 seats are lost or the coalition breaks down we'll possibly have yet ANOTHER election!  Sigh...

If/when there is another election Corbyn would be starting from appearing credible and may even have support of his own party so it's not impossible to think that he could win.  BUT if it puts him in charge of Brexit he would likely be being set up to fail.  You just can't please all the people so no matter what outcome is achieved a lot of people will be pissed off so I don't believe it'll be possible to make a "success" of it - but that's a topic for a whole other load of waffle.

Yay........................

Halo, Goodbye

The halo has finally been removed!  After my hopes of getting rid of it before Xmas were dashed, I received an appointment for it to be removed on New Year's Eve.

At the clinic
On arrival at the hospital a couple of x-rays were taken which showed the fracture had healed well; rather oddly the x-ray operator appeared to remember me and the details of my accident.

The removal doesn't take place in surgery, and is just done as part of the routine clinic sessions!  The osteopath first detached the vest from the halo, then the supporting bars were taken off, before finally undoing the screws/pins.  The screws actually felt more like they were being tightened than undone; the front right had been the worst to attach and also hurt the most when being removed.  Once undone, the wounds were cleansed and overly-large plasters were attached.  I was fitted with a collar to support my head, this isn't strictly necessary but having been supported by scaffolding for a quarter of a year, the head feels incredibly unstable at first without it.
Without the collar I can only describe trying to keep my head up as trying to get an egg to balance on its pointed end!  My head felt incredibly top heavy and my neck felt in no way able to do anything about it.

The osteopath arranged for me to have a follow up appointment in a couple of week's time where I will have additional x-rays and an MRI to confirm things are continuing to heal as expected and assess what physiotherapy, if any, will be necessary.  These couldn't be done today as the muscles and ligaments need a little while to start moving again before correct assessments can be made.

I brought up the pains in my left arm and he took me through various ranges of movement to attempt to pinpoint the location/cause, while doing this the pain of the screw-removal became a bit too much and I felt as though I was going to faint.  A sit down and a glass of water was enough to help me feel better again and I was sent on my way.

I was asked if I wanted to keep the halo and chose to (why wouldn't you?!), apparently I'm the first to do so, most people never want to see it again!  While it's not been much fun to have on, the alternatives are infinitely worst; I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm fond of the halo, but I certainly don't bear it any ill will.

Home again
Possibly foolishly I'd walked to the hospital and decided I'd walk back too.  I called via a shop and bought a celebratory bottle of JD.  Once home I had a few snifters of JD and then went for the most eagerly anticipated bath of my life (even more yearned for than the one I had after Glastonbury '97!).  I'm still not able to wash my hair as the wounds need a few days to heal fully, but it still felt great to have a thorough soak.

We'd arranged for our usual gang of mates to call round for a few hours on their way into town to celebrate NYE.  In the end people skipped the pub and stayed till silly o'clock, it felt nice to have a few too many without the worry of the frame.  I kept the collar on for the majority of the time but dabbled without it.

New Year's Day
I managed to dodge a full hangover, settling for a generally lethargic feeling.  We had a steady start to the day where I only occasionally used the brace.  We headed out into town for lunch and I used the halo while out; I didn't entirely need it for support, but I preferred to have it and not need it, rather than the other way around, it's also a useful visual cue to others to be a little more careful around me.

As advised I sat and turned my head through as much range of movement as possible several times throughout the day, I also changed the dressing and cleaned the pin wounds on my forehead.  The pin points are raised from my forehead and feel very solid, as if there's a ball-bearing under the skin; presumably this will reduce with time, it'll be interesting to see what level of scarring I'm left with.

Sleeping proved to be awkward (a problem that had been solved by alcohol on NYE), each of the pin points is sensitive to pressure and they're evenly spaced around my head, coupled with my sore left arm this is making finding a comfortable spot difficult.

Since then my range of movement has improved noticeably each day and I'm only using the collar when leaving the house.  However my right arm/shoulder has started to ache too, possibly caused by the long-dormant movement in my neck/shoulder muscles.

Pros and Cons
As well as bathing, I've also enjoyed having a full range of clothing to wear, not having to plan even the simplest of movements in advance and most of all, being able to cuddle my daughter properly again!  I should also be able to start using the turbo trainer in the next couple of days too, this will be a mixed blessing as while I'll enjoy working out again, I'm scared to see how much fitness I'll have lost!
On the downside, my neck muscles ache permanently and it'll still be a while before I'm back to training and entering events again, also the prospect of returning to 8-9 hour working days isn't too appealing!

10 weeks in...

My general lack of updates reflects the little that has changed since I last posted.  This is my 10th week with the halo and I now have a fairly well set daily routine;

   7am: up for breakfast with daughter
   7:20am: listen to podcasts while doing the best I can to clean myself with flannels
   8:20am: walk daughter to school
   9am: catch up on work emails
      [Bit in middle...]
   3:15pm: pick up daughter from school
   midnight: tuck-in time.

The bit in the middle varies from day to day;
- carry on working if there's things I'm able to do and feel up to doing
- watch TV/read/puzzles/Xbox/learn Guitar
- walk as far as I'm able

For a while I was attempting to use my bike with a borrowed turbo trainer, but even at a low intensity the volume of sweat that builds up in the wool-lined plastic vest is unpleasant.  Worst of all is then sitting around in a damp stinking vest for the rest of the day!  So, I've decided to knock that on the head until the vest is off.

TV, Film and Entertainment
I managed to watch all 86 episodes of The Sopranos in a month!  I then had a spate of watching some older films; The French Connection, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, Jungle Book, Clerks 2.  I've been to the cinema and seen The Martian, Black Mass, Spectre, Sicario and have tickets to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens this week!  I've also started to re-watch The Wire, it's my favourite TV Show and seeing it for the 2nd time is definitely better as you're straight into the action without having to learn the slang and who people are.
I mentioned that I was getting stuck into Driver: San Francisco on the Xbox360, I've since completed it and bought Red Dead Redemption which I'm loving!  Gaming is something I'm not usually able to find time for, so it's been nice to be able to get into it again.  I've also had a mate round for some gaming sessions on Fifa and Forza; another thing I used to do a LOT and enjoyed but no longer seem to have the time for.

General Halo Observations
Before my last screw tightening session the frame had been creaking a little for a few days, this was both concerning and unpleasant, but the doc didn't seem to think it was a problem and after tightening it's been fine.
At the last session I had hoped that the doc was going to tell me that it would be being removed this week (2.5 months) but he said it needs to stay on for at least the full 3 months, this was a bit disappointing as I'd hoped to have it removed before Xmas.  Ultimately though, I'd rather it healed as well as it can, so if that means wearing it for longer then so be it...
The screw points are no longer getting as crusty as they were to begin with and I'm now only cleaning them a couple of times a week, rather than daily as I was for the first few weeks

I've been stopped in the street many times by strangers wanting to ask about it, a few weeks ago an older bloke stopped me and told me he'd had to wear one about 10 years ago.  His break sounded much worse than mine, and the halo hadn't managed to heal the break and he'd then had to have an operation to plate the bones together!  He proceeded to demonstrate the full range of movement that he now has.  Up until then I'd been a bit concerned as to how well everything would heal and this really helped me get a feel for what is possible.  I wish I'd taken a little more time to explain to him how reassuring his words had been.

Today I was pointed to a Facebook post about a cyclist who'd managed to keep training (on a turbo trainer) despite wearing a halo (he was getting fresh linings for his vest every week - why can't I get that?!?).  I found him in the comments section and managed to exchange a few messages with him, which again has been reassuring.

Life begins at 40... Apparently...

It's been 4 weeks since the accident and 3 since the cage was fitted so I thought I'd fill in the blanks since my last update.

Out and about
I've managed to get out for a few short-ish trips, mostly accompanied but once on my own.  Leisurely strolls around the park and trips to the pictures to watch the new Bond film have been fine, but I'm less keen on busy areas.  I had the pleasure of turning 40 yesterday so managed to lure a few mates to the local for a few drinkies.
It's been good to get out, but I'm quickly finding my limits; I become tired quickly, so I'll be OK for a while and then suddenly feel the need to be home again.  I also find I'm quite achy after trips out too, I suspect I'm attempting turn my neck more (which obviously I can't do) which is slightly aggravating things.

Entertainment

Lots of friends have visited and kept in touch over the internet, which has been great.  There haven't been many days where I've not had contact of some form with the outside world.

I'm ploughing through the Sopranos box-set (I'm typing all this with an American-Italian gangster twang) and have more than enough Netflix and DVDs to keep me occupied.  I've also rediscovered the neglected-of-late Xbox 360, with Diablo 3, Fifa 2012 and Driver: San Franciso helping to pass a few hours.

Recovery

The pain in my head has largely gone now; the screws are still tender but I suspect that's how it will be until they're removed.  At the time of the accident I was focussed on the pain in my neck and hadn't noticed other injuries that have now become apparent.  My left arm/shoulder has been painful when stretching out to extremities which I initially thought was just a bruise/sprain, however it's now a month down the line and it doesn't appear to have improved.

More concerningly I noticed a lump about half-way down my spine last night.  After a bit of light stretching it became much smaller however that specific vertebra still feels sore.  I have my 2 weekly screw tightening session in a couple of days so will get both of these developments checked out there.  Fingers crossed it's nothing major and the lump is just related to poor posture caused by the halo...
I think I had convinced myself that I'd be able to do more than I can.  I'd envisaged servicing my bikes and tidying the garden, however both of these jobs feel out of reach at the moment and it appears my recovery will be slower than I'd originally expected.

The world of disability

I've been quite surprised at the number of total strangers who are happy to approach you and ask for the details of what's happened to you.  Most are friendly and harmless and I've been happy to pass the time of day with them.  But personally I'd be incredibly British about such things and go to great lengths not to mention someone's obvious ailment.

On the plus side I've twice received what I'd call exceptional and unexpected service from businesses.  The Ipswich Regent upgraded our seats to a box (show booked before the injury, this was my first trip out of the house and put me off going out again for another week!) and Cineworld offered to find me the most appropriate seat possible if needed, in a very busy screen.

Me, me, me...

Up until recently I'd been fairly upbeat about my situation; the first week with the halo had been fairly unpleasant but the following 2 weeks passed fairly quickly and having some time to rest without the pressure of training or the stresses of work was actually quite nice.  It's fair to say, though, that the novelty has now well and truly worn off and the uncertainty around the new symptoms coupled with not knowing how well I'll heal or if I'll be able to swim/bike/run to the same level again is starting to get me down.

The realisation that I've another 9 weeks before the halo is removed, and that there's an additional unknown length of time after that before I'm recovered (if at all) is disheartening.

I'm well aware that things could be a lot worse, but at this moment in time I'm also aware of how much better they could be too.

The first few days

I've been home few days now so thought I'd make a few notes on my initial experiences with the halo.

Sleeping and Medication
The halo was fitted Friday night; up until then I'd spent 3 days laid in bed, with instructions to not get up, stay still and keep the angle of the bed below 30 degrees.  After the op I spent a bit of time getting used to being sat up and then dabbled with walking like a newborn gazelle around the bed.

I slept in a half seated position, but the halo was uncomfortable to lay against the pillow.  Since I've been home I've tried various quantities and positions of pillows but the pressure the frame applies to my head when laying down isn't pleasant.  Getting loaded up with paracetamol and liquid morphine has helped me sleep, but when it wears off in the early hours I soon wake up again.  I'm not keen on the morphine's side effects so have resisted taking it through the day and I've even resisted taking it on some nights too.
Yesterday my mum made me a tall and narrow (18" x 6") beanbag pillow which fits between my bars meaning my head rests on it and the bars float in mid air, which saves the pressure against my head.  This lead to last night's sleep being the best I've had - no morphine and the paracetamol took me until 4am.

Activity
The surgeon prescribed a steady course of pottering; in other words, not sat doing nothing, but not doing anything strenuous either.  So I've spent the first few days sorting those little jobs that never normally get done, interspersed with lengthy spells of reading/films/music/etc.

My friends have been great; many have chatted on-line and via text, some have sent cards, and I've had a few surprise visits too.  All of which have been very welcome.  Facebook has been a very valuable lifeline.

I've not left the house since I came home, and can't see me doing so for few more days at the very least.  I'm a bit unsteady on my feet and tire fairly quickly.  I'm hoping I might be able to manage a trip to the cinema next week, but that may be a bit ambitious just yet.  

Clothing
Due to the way the bars attach from the halo to the vest my clothing no longer fits.  As someone who lives in t-shirts, I'm having to pack them away for the foreseeable future and embrace buttoned shirts!  Even then, only the first few buttons can be fastened and I then look-like a cross between Robocop and a cheesy 70's medallion man.  Hoodies also fit quite well in the same way (zip 1/3rd done up) but ideally I need something to fit around the metalwork.
We've raided the charity shops and hopefully my mum can turn her needlework skills to adapting some clothes to fit a bit better!

Heads, you lose...

As it often can, life's taken an unexpected turn.  Rather than attempting to keep in shape over winter and be ready to come back stronger for next season, I find myself severely injured and wondering to what level, if any, I'll be able to enjoy my sports in the future.

The following is a summary of the last 7 days starting on Sunday 4th Oct.

Sunday 
I went out for a steady ride on the MTB. I've nothing to train for at the moment so wasn't going flat out and was just enjoying riding for the sake of riding.  I headed over to Foxhall Woods, somewhere I've ridden hundreds of times over the years which forms an early part of a 25 mile loop I was planning to do.
As I rode into a clearing I headed over to a smallish hump (2-3ft high-ish) in the ground that I've ridden lots of times before. What I couldn't see until I was at the top of it was that someone had dug out the back end of it turning it from a hump into a ramp with a ditch behind it.
I wasn't carrying enough speed to clear the ramp and the front wheel fell into the ditch, throwing me over the bars and through the air. I landed on the top of my head and immediately knew it was a bad fall. I lay there for a few minutes while I worked out what hurt and what didn't.
I eventually got up and was surprised to find that nothing appeared to be broken and nothing was bleeding. My neck felt sore but not ridiculously so. I, reluctantly, decided to cut my ride short and headed for home. I rather foolishly didn't take the most direct route back, but despite taking it very steady I felt every lump and bump juddering though my back.
Once home I told Clare I'd had a bad fall and wasn't sure what to do. I had a cup of tea and a biscuit, posted on Facebook for advice and pottered about in the garage for a bit. Enough mates said it sounded like an A&E job so I decided to go. We had arranged a big BBQ with our mates in the afternoon so was conscious of wanting to be back in time... Priorities eh...
The wait at A&E wasn't too bad, the nurse was incredibly thorough with her assessment of me and at this point I started taking the incident more seriously. She sent me through for x-rays; weirdly, to x-ray the top of your spine, they have to do it through your open mouth.  Both the nurse and on-duty registrar examined the x-ray but couldn't see any problems so diagnosed severe whiplash and told me to take it steady and rest a lot for a few days. She did mention that a radiographer would also check the x-rays and that they'd call me if there was a problem.
I got back in time for the BBQ and spent the afternoon chatting with my mates, although I handed over the cooking duties and took it as steady as possible.

Monday 
After getting hardly any sleep I built myself a nest in the arm chair to support my neck.  I spent the day in front of the telly, taking a break to set up the new YouView box (it seems very good, but still not a patch on the 15 year-old TiVo it replaces).  I emailed work and told them that I planned to be back in the office on Wednesday, maybe Thursday. 

Tuesday
I cleaned myself up first thing and settled into my nest for another day in front of the telly.  After the accident I decided that the impact to the helmet had been too much, and although it wasn't showing signs of damage, I wouldn't take any chances and would replace it. I ordered a new one and arranged for it to be delivered to work as I was going to be back in in a day or so... 

Around 10ish the phone rang and it was a hidden number; I almost didn't pick it up and when I did, I didn't speak, expecting an automated sales pitch to kick in.  When the person on the other end finally spoke and asked for Mr France I prepared for the usual call-centre spiel, however he explained he was calling from the hospital and that I needed to come back in as soon as possible!  I rang a couple of mates for a lift but everyone was at work. Fortunately the buses run regularly and I only had to wait a minute or 2 at the end of the road. 
Once at A&E I didn't have to wait in the waiting room and was whisked away to a room where the doctor explained that I had a fracture and that an MRI was needed to assess the extent of the damage. As I hadn't been booked in I was going to have to hope they could squeeze me in if possible. Fortunately a friend of mine is a radiographer at the hospital and she was able to fit me in fairly quickly.
The MRI took about 20 mins; for anyone who hasn't had one, they are a weird sensation where you're fed into a tightly enclosed space and water-boarded with extreme drum and base music.
Having refused to tell them what I knew, the next torture was to spend hours laid on a bed in various corridors and rooms waiting to find out what happens next.

The original doctor came back and said I was going to be taken up to a ward where I'd be fitted with a collar that I'd have to wear for at least 6 weeks and there was a possibility that I'd be kept in overnight.
Once on the ward I sat on the bed for a few hours waiting for more details. No one said I had to lay down or even that I had to stay in bed. A nurse went through various admin forms but didn't know if I was due to be staying. Eventually a junior doctor came and explained that I would be having a collar for a few weeks, that I should be laying totally still and told me off for walking to the loo earlier... He said I'd be having an overnight stay while the consultant assessed my scans, and that I could leave the next day.
Clare and Lily came to visit in the evening and brought me some supplies, it was clearly very upsetting for Lily to see me like this. They brought the tablet for me and I spent the evening watching the Lego Movie on that (If I'd known I'd need it, I would have stuck something other than Lily's films on it!)
My bed was by a window so I had a nice breeze, there were 6 beds on the ward, all except mine were occupied by blokes in their 70s/80s.  Most seem nice enough, although I nicknamed one Goldilocks as he was forever calling the nurses as he's too hot/cold, the beds too hard/soft, he had too many/not enough pillows etc etc. He spent the whole of the first night calling out like this. I think I managed 2 hrs sleep!

Wednesday
Spent much of the day doing crosswords, playing with phone and tablet (how people survive in hospital without internet access I'll never know) reading and listening to music.  Eventually the consultant called by and explained his findings.
He made it very clear how lucky I've been and how much worse it could easily have been. He explained that below your skull is a hoop-like vertebra and underneath that is a disc shaped one with a peg sticking out that slots into the hoop - It's the peg that has fractured and damaged various ligaments.

The options available to me were;
- Wear a collar for 6 to 8 weeks; this would leave me bed bound, needing Clare to act as a carer and risked the spine not healing correctly as the collar doesn't hold the neck solidly in place enough.
- Be fitted with a "halo" head and neck brace; this involves having some scaffolding fitted to my head and torso (4 screws into the skull, which are in-turn attached to frame and then onto a rigid vest).  which has to stay in place for up to 3 months. This makes a good heal more likely and means I'm not bed bound but leaves me looking like Frankenstein...
- Operation on the spine to pin the vertebra back together; this has the most risk as it involves operating near the spinal cord and is obviously very invasive in a confined and sensitive area.

The halo option was his preferred option and and weighing up the options it was mine too...  So no longer leaving on Wednesday after all and the op was hopefully happening on Friday (although they wouldn't commit to it and it may slip to Mon/Tues the following week!).

In the evening a friend from work kindly collected a few extra essentials from Clare and dropped them off for me.  I slept with headphones in that night and was only disturbed once by Goldilocks...

Thursday 
Another day of reading/music/puzzles etc. Clare came to visit me around lunchtime and brought fresh pyjamas and supplies.  Another mate called by in the evening to keep me company for a while.  There was still no commitment that the op would definitely be on Friday...
Goldilocks was discharged, hooray a good night's sleep!

Friday
I was prepped for surgery bright and early but still given no indication when (or even if) it would be happening that day.  I didn't eat much and dozed on and off all day, not feeling well and not overly excited at the prospect of someone screwing things into my skull.  Around 3:30 I was finally taken to theatre for the operation. You might want to skip the next paragraph if you're of a squeamish disposition...

The op takes place under local anaesthetic, meaning your completely awake for it!  The 2 main surgeons appeared to have a Dr Cox and Carla type relationship (for all the Scrubs fans out there), him being slightly sadistic yet funny, and her being more of a calming foil to him.
Before he started, the surgeon advised me to keep my eyes shut (like I wasn't planning to anyway!) because if they're open when the screws go in, the muscles that control your eyelids are pinned open and you can't close your eyes until the halo is removed 3 months later!
After offering up the frame to my head he pointed out that I was about to hate him and to feel free to swear at him as much as I liked.  Even with all the local anaesthetic in the world, there's no avoiding the fact/feeling that someone is screwing things into your skull.  The screws themselves have torque heads on them that snap off as soon as the screw is in tight enough, this prevents them from being accidentally over-tightened. The surgeon warned me that I would feel the grinding as they snapped and he wasn't wrong...
Then the various bars were attached to the frame on my head; each clank vibrated through my skull and shook my fillings.  And the same happened again as it was attached to my chest plate.  After being wheeled back to the ward a nurse cleansed the blood from my face and taught me how to clean my screws to prevent infection...

After the op I was advised that I was free to go home as soon as I wanted, which seemed weird after such an invasive procedure.  I still felt pretty queasy, oddly enough the operation hadn't relieved that feeling, so I wasn't sure whether to stay or go.  At one point the nurse handed a mirror so I could see what a sight my loved ones would be in for when they came to meet me.  It reminded me of that scene in the Tim Burton Batman film when Jack Nicholson's Joker has had the plastic surgery.

Around 6:30 I was feeling a bit better so arranged for Clare to come and collect me in around an hour.  Unfortunately the good feeling didn't last long and within 10 mins I had Exorcist-style vomited all over the bed, I suspect a week's worth of morphine and nerves had taken their toll.  I decided to spend another night on the ward and be collected the next day.

Saturday
I still wasn't feeling great in the morning, but had a double dose of MTFU and arranged to be picked up again.
Being home was both a relief and daunting.  Not having qualified staff on standby was worrying and this stupid frame being stuck to my head still felt very disorientating and uncomfortable.  However seeing Lily and Clare again and having the luxury of home comforts was fantastic.

Sunday
It's now a week since the accident and a day and a half since the "cone of shame" was fitted.  I'm getting a little more used to the frame, but the feeling of it reverberating through my head when I snag it on something still isn't fun.  Trying to get comfortable in bed last night was hard work, but Clare assures me I fell asleep quickly and I managed about 7hrs before the meds wore off, so I can't complain too much.
I headed back to the ward earlier to have my screws tightened and I can assure you that it was about as much fun as it sounds...  The frame had started to be a little more comfortable but we're now back to it hurting like an utter bastard.

Is it Christmas yet?

KLMTB Shouldham Warren 6hr Enduro 2015

I've not raced an MTB event of this length solo before, in fact I've not raced my MTB at all since February and have very much favoured the road bike throughout the summer.  In addition to this, various other events and a severe bout of DIY in the run up to the race had kept me from the level of training I'd have liked.

The race was at Shouldham Warren, a surprisingly hilly venue just south of Kings Lynn.  I'd decided I'd ride as hard as I could for lap 1 to build up a reasonable position in the pack and then back off for the remainder of the event; subsequent advice and experience tells me that this isn't the best strategy...
Essentially a lack of experience and preparedness was building up to a perfect storm of how not to do an event!

The course was approximately 6 miles long; lap 1 went well with minimal hold ups and I was feeling strong.  Lap 2 also went well although I realised I wasn't pacing myself as much as I should be...  I backed off quite a bit for laps 3 and 4 but by the end of lap 4 my thighs were starting to cramp - with over 4 hours still remaining, this wasn't good!  I backed off further for lap 5 and attempted to hydrate (carbs and electrolyte) as much as possible but the cramp had well and truly taken hold at this point and much of my head-start was trickling away.

The course which had seemed challenging-yet-fun to begin with had become hard work and gruelling, with some of the climbs definitely much steeper than they were to begin with!

At the end of lap 6, a little under 2/3rds of the way through, I stopped for a few minutes to ditch my CamelBak and to refuel.  I was surprised to find the CamelBak was still about 1/3rd full; I definitely hadn't been hydrating enough!  D'oh...

From that point on, "each lap was definitely going to be my last", "there was no way I was going to carry on", "this was a stupid way to be spending a Sunday" - my bottom lip was sticking out so far it was affecting my aerodynamics!  But I did manage to slog on until the end, eventually completing 9 laps (1 short of my original target).  I even managed a sprint finish to overtake another rider who I'd swapped places with quite a few times throughout the race!

I finished in a slightly disappointing 20th place (of 38 soloists) but given my lack of experience and preparation I can't complain.

All in all, the event was excellent; the course was challenging, varied and and kept you interested.  The organisation was great with a good atmosphere in the arena and out on the course and it was good to try something new.  However, next time (which is something I swore at the time there wouldn't be) I'll definitely pace myself better from the off, and make sure I'm hydrating as much as possible!

PS: If anyone tells you East Anglia is flat, they should try spending 6hrs MTBing around Shouldham Warren!

Ipswich Twilight 10k 2015

Ipswich Jaffas running club organised an evening closed road running race through the centre of Ipswich.
Two main events took place; an elite runners 5k followed by an open 10k.  Both Clare and myself entered the 10k along with several friends (Keith, Clare B and Howard).

I was aiming for 42mins and Clare wanted to beat 52mins.

The course took us from the University buildings near our home, along Rope Walk to the middle of town, down Silent St to the Cinema, through the football ground stands, back into town past my office on Princes St, up the slight climb of Museum St, back down Lloyds Ave past a Samba band.  Then along Tavern St, the Buttermarket, back to my office and then back along Rope Walk, followed by a 2nd lap of the same route.

I finished in 40:12 and Clare finished in 51:06!

Wattisham Triathlon 2015

Four years ago I finished my first Wattisham Tri in 1:08:48, the next year a helicopter stopped play and I only managed to finish a few seconds quicker. Last year I got it down to 1:01:42; I was really pleased with this improvement and had convinced myself I wasn't going to be able to better that.

A good result at the Culford Tri (different distances) a couple of weeks ago had started to make me optimistic that I might be able to shave a bit off last year's time.  I'd even started to wonder whether I might be able to get under an hour...

The weather was very similar to Culford a few weeks earlier.  The sky was grey and it was drizzling off and on.  In the induction the Race Director warned us that parts of the course were slippy.  As we set up the transition area the rain eased off, but never felt far away.

As usual I faffed with my transition layout, putting everything in one order, then another and repeated this until I was suitably annoyed with myself.  I noticed someone near me had placed their number belt on the tri-bars bars and rested their helmet on top.  I decided to give this ago to make them easier to get at and leave less gear cluttering under the bike.

For the swim I'd planned to do my usual thing of keeping a steady pace and not pushing too hard, and as planned I started off steady.  A couple of lengths in I was feeling pretty good so started to push harder.
T1 went OK; relocating the number belt and the lid worked well (there was some faffing getting the number the right way around but that was me not the layout) and the harder swim didn't appear to have taken a toll.

A little way into the ride I was starting to feel queasy and needing to burp, but each burp was bringing up bile...  I managed to ride on through this and don't think it held me up at all, but the first few miles weren't too enjoyable.  Around the time the sick feeling cleared the heavens decided we'd be dry long enough and the rain started again.
The runway is a feature of the Wattisham Tri, with you riding all the way up it and then back down again.  It's notorious for having a strong wind which can halve your speed in one direction and double it in the other!  Of the 4 times I've done the event this was the first where that didn't happen, despite the rain, the wind was minimal and I seemed to average around 21-23mph in one direction and 25-27mph in the other!
Towards the end of the ride as I left the airfield and joined the road back to the sports centre my back wheel skidded massively on a wet bit of road!  I somehow managed to keep upright but swung out far too wide onto the other side of the road just as another rider was heading towards me!  Fortunately he was still about 40ft away and I was able to get back over to my side without impeding either of us too much.  Unfortunately, just as this happened the Race Director was driving along behind the other rider and he gave me a proper drill-instructor-type shouting at...  I worried that this might get me a time penalty but tried not to think about it and just pushed on with my ride.

At Culford I suffered bad cramping as I tried to change my shoes in T2.  This time I suffered a little but not enough to hinder me.  As I set off running I realised I still had my helmet on and had to double-back to leave it with my bike, I'd guess this cost me 10-15s.

I'd used my Garmin 500 to track the ride as usual, but I'm not normally able to track my run, this time I'd used a TomTom Multisport which did the job well enough, but in future I need to spend some time setting the metrics shown on the screen better.  The main metric I wanted to know was my current average pace, unfortunately it was showing it in kph rather than mph so I struggled to translate it.
Run went well, the ground had held up despite the rain and I didn't suffer any cramping (legs or diaphragm).
The watch was telling me that it was going to be close to being under an hour, which helped spur me on and I gave everything I had up the final straight!

As I crossed the line the announcer shouted my name and that my time was under an hour at 59:30!  At that point no other competitors had gone that quick and if I'd had that time last year I would have been 2nd overall!
For a few minutes it was all quite exciting but soon enough reality kicked in and other competitors were coming in under the hour too. 

Finished in 00:59:30!
7th of 244 overall and 3rd of 27 in category (40-44).
Swim (300m) + T1: 00:06:24
Bike (20km) + T2: 00:34:05
Run (5km): 00:18:59
Results here.

I was approx 3m 20s from 2nd overall and 4m 30s from 1st.

I was 25s from 2nd in my category and and 4m 30s from 1st.

2014 Times
Swim + T1: 00:06:39
Bike + T2: 00:35:12

Run: 00:19:51

Culford 2 Triathlon 2015

I initially entered Ipswich Tri Club's Culford 2 event to support a mate who was doing his first tri, but it would also help to gauge my readiness for Wattisham a few weeks later.

The event is held on the grounds of the very posh Culford School; the swim takes place in their sports centre, the ride consists of 3 laps of the public roads that border the grounds and the run covers 2 laps of the perimeter of sports fields and a long driveway/path.

The forecast was changeable throughout the week, and ended up being drizzly on the morning, it stayed dry for most of the event, however the heavens opened during the run.

When we arrived we drove along the bike route to check for standing water and pot-holes and just to get a feel for how tight/open the turns were.

Notable details;

• Swim: 300m, Bike: 21km, Run: 4km
• Transition points were pre-allocated
• I kept banging my hands on the bottom of the shallow end of the pool
• Run to T1 was pretty big; few hundred meters
• The ride had a single foot-down stop per-lap at a road junction

 I took the swim steady, as I have for the last few tris, not wanting to tire myself early on.  The person before me had dropped out so I had a clear swim.  This also meant my transition point had one less bike in it which helped prevent it from being overcrowded.

The ride went well, there was minimal standing water despite the earlier rain, although having to perform a foot-down stop each lap was tricky to get right.  Fortunately there were no cars for each of my laps so I was able to get going again straight away.

In T2 my thighs cramped horrendously.  Trying to get my trainers on seemed impossible, and was made especially hard by the fact I'd used the "loop lacing lock" tip which meant they were harder to pull on than normal.  I probably lost 30s due to this, but after much spasming I managed to get the trainers on and out onto the run!

The run went well, although it started to rain fairly heavily after about 1km, this left some of the surface fairly slippery and trying to stay upright while navigating one particular hairpin was tricky.  The course was flat apart from one evil bump, which wasn't long but was steep enough to knock all momentum out of my stride.

I finished 8th of 185 overall and 3rd of 22 in my category (Male 40-44).
Swim (300m): 5:35 (68th)
Bike (21km) + T1: 36:51 (8th)
Run (4km) + T2: 14:46 (12th)
Total: 57:12

I was approx 3mins from 2nd overall and 9mins from 1st.
I was approx 30s from 2nd in my category and and 2mins from 1st.

Thetford Winter Series 2014/2015 - Round 4

Round 4 : Brandon Country Park : 22nd February
With a 13th at round 1 and 21st at both rounds 2 and 3 I was sitting in 7th overall in the series standings.

In the weeks leading up to the race I'd found my pace has improved quite a bit and my single-track handling was back to something like normal, so I was hopeful of being further into the top 20 this time.

The morning was cold but bright and the forecast said it should warm up as the morning went on, rain wasn't due until an hour or so after the race. I decided to trust the weather man and opted for non-winter gear, baring my legs and leaving the winter boots in the car!

Although I was gridded I wasn't comfortable with my position in the pen and got off to an apprehensive start, feeling I could put more power down but not finding it easy to jostle among the other riders. After the first couple of fire-road bends there was a long straight where I managed to push onwards and was able to retake a few places before the first section of single-track.

The course was excellent, with lots of single-track and with a surprising amount of climbing. TMTBR had been a bit evil with the end of the loop which took us up the bottom of the Plumb-buster then across and up the Nutcracker (very narrow and steep)!

I can't have lost too many places as I didn't find much in the way of hold-ups along the course but the poor start niggled at me for the rest of the race. Lap 3 was eerily quiet and forcing myself to push on was hard without other riders around to pace myself with. I played a game of imaging Ady and Wingar were just around the corner ahead and I was trying to close them down...  At the start of lap 4 Karen told me that Cavey wasn't too far ahead which spurred me on for the final lap (even though he's in a different cat). Around half-way through the lap I caught a few glimpses of him in the distance and finally, at the bottom of the Plumb-buster I managed to catch and pass him, but found a slow queue heading up the Nutcracker. At the top I chased after a couple of others from the queue (not knowing if they were in my cat or not) along a draggy straight to the finish line but wasn't able to catch them.

Once again I'd targeted a top 20 finish, and as I'd gone into this round feeling stronger than last time I'd hoped on a reasonable improvement on the 21st place I'd finished in the last 2 times.

I turns out the 2 blokes I was chasing at the end were in my cat after all, and I finished 19th (7s off 17th!). The full series rankings haven't been published but after fiddling with a spreadsheet I think I've worked out that I finished 11th in the series overall.

I had hoped all the training would have got me a few places nearer the top 10 but it can't be helped. I suspect a weak start and not having anyone to chase in lap 3 cost me a few places. This is my last year as a Senior and I'll be a vet next time round, if I'd been in that cat yesterday I'd have finished 11th...

Roll on next season...

Thetford Winter Series 2014/2015 - Round 3

Round 3 : Mayday Meadow : 25th January
An xmas of being ill and lazy had taken its toll...  I'd put quite a lot of effort into training through January but it was largely undoing the damage from December's lurgy and Xmas's lethargy...  By the middle of the week before the race I was feeling pretty quick again, but knew I wasn't quite where I had been in Nov/Dec.

The ground was frozen solid when I arrived but the forecast was for it to warm up as the morning went on.  I was well wrapped up for the pre-ride, but I decided to leave the buff and jacket in the car and change my longs for shorts and my winter boots for normal SPDs for the race.

I was gridded again and got off to a reasonable start, someone fell in front of me on the first corner but I managed to avoid him without hitting anyone else.  The course had a lot of fire-road (normally a weakness of mine) but the hours of looping around Alton Water appeared to have paid off as I was able to keep my place along it.  There was a small queue at the first single-track section but mostly lap 1 flowed well.  At the end of lap 1 another rider fell in front of me, he clipped the bike in front and went down, fortunately I was able to avoid him (checking he was OK) and carry on.

Lap 2 flowed better and I was still feeling pretty strong, but by lap 3 my legs were starting to fade a little.  This wasn't helped by drive-train issues!  While prepping the bike on Saturday I'd spotted a jockey wheel that was close to wearing away completely and had swapped it for a spare, but on my last few rides and even on the morning's pre-ride there had been no other problems.  However...  Once or twice during the early laps, if I tried to put the power down in a smaller cassette ring the chain would jump; as the race went on this got more and more frequent :-(

A jockey wheel that's seen better days

 By lap 4 my body was whimpering, but I'd worked out that even if I backed off a little I should still be able to make it round for a 5th lap and have recovered a little for a final push.

As the ground warmed up, the course changed considerably!  Bits that had been slippery to begin with had formed a dry line by the end, but the previously frozen sections became slippery and very wet.

Lap 5 felt good, but the lap times show I was actually a minute slower than lap 4... How does that work?!?!

I was aiming for a top 20 slot but ended up 21st of 87, 2hr Male Senior (missing out on 20th by 2s to someone who'd wheel-sucked me with a team mate for for most of lap 5 - mutter mutter), so not too far off.

After the first 2 rounds I was sitting in 10th place overall, so it'll be interesting to see how much damage this has done ahead of Rnd4.

I definitely noticed my singletrack handling wasn't as good as it usually is, I find AW is great for speed training, but I definitely need to spend more time in the forest getting my single-track handling back up to scratch!

Photo by Kevin Shaw

Thetford Winter Series 2014/2015 - Round 2

Round 2 : Brandon FR6 : 7th December
After a few days of being knocked out by a lurgy from hell I was feeling well enough to race, but still had sinuses full of gunge...  It had rained lightly off and on all the way to Brandon but was forecast to be nothing worse than a few spots during the race.
The pre-ride made it clear that my body was lacking power; I was reasonably quick on the flat, but had no oomph up the climbs.  Chatted to Ady before the race and he suggested riding to heart rate rather than speed, so decided to give that a try.
I was gridded, but was soon passed by plenty of riders as I struggled to keep the pace up and found a queue at the first section of single-track.  Around 2/3rds of the way around lap one a 15min sleety downpour soaked me through and froze me to the bone.  The ground churned up and I plodded on for 4 laps, occasionally finding bursts of power but mostly just trying to keep a HR of approx 160-165.
I ended up 21st of 86.  I'd usually be very pleased with that when well, so to be comfortably within the top 30 (gridding place) when poorly was great.

Thetford Dusk Til Dawn 2014

Once again me and Cavey paired up.

It had rained, hard, from mid-day till about an hour before the start.
I volunteered for the 1st lap.
I got a good start however a course taping cock-up meant us leaders were sent the wrong way so I spent much time fighting through the pack to make back some places.
Half way around the course I cheekily overtook some other riders where there wasn't really enough room, I cut back in and had to keep the speed up so as not to hold them up.  This led me to take a tight left/right too quickly and I glanced a tree.  My shorts snagged on a little branch and ripped down the side, all the way from the top to the bottom!  A cry from behind of "Oh, fucking hell!" confirmed I would have to do the rest of the lap with my arse and tackle flapping about in the autumn air!  Fortunately I'd managed to stay on the bike and even more fortunately I had spare shorts in the car!

The taping cockup hadn't cost us too badly and we were in 5th place at the end of lap 1!

The rest of the night was incident free.  The temperature dropped to around freezing and as usual the sunrise in the forest was stunning.  I passed through one forest opening which was strewn with frozen cobwebs with shafts of sunlight glistening through.

As the night went on we moved up into 4th place and managed to hold onto that all the way to the end.  With 2 laps to go there was some timing confusion that meant we might be able to nudge up into 3rd and onto the podium, but in reality that wasn't ever going to happen.  We ended up 4th, with Cavey managing to get back over the line with only a couple of minutes to spare!

We've paired up for D2D 3 times now and this is the best result we've had and I'm exceedingly chuffed with it.

T'Tour de Yorkshire

When it was announced that this year's Grand Depart would be taking place in Yorkshire I knew I'd have to make a trip back there to see it.  While I'm not one for watching sporting events on TV, I love a live spectacle and couldn't miss seeing the worlds biggest cycling event taking place in the county I grew up in.

My original rough plan had been to head up on Friday after work with a mate and stay at my folks over the weekend, riding out to the Dales on the Saturday and over to York on the Sunday to see bits both stages.  But as time went on it became apparent that a full weekend wouldn't be possible for various reasons.  One of the main reasons being that I was attending the Black Sabbath, Soundgarden and Faith No More gig in Hyde Park on the Friday.

The new plan became to head out early on Saturday, leave the car in Selby, ride over to see the early part of the race near Leeds, then head on to Harrogate in time for the finish and then drive home the same day.

The gig was excellent, much beer was drunk (despite the prices) and I was tucked up in bed around 12:45.  My alarm went off at 5:30 and my mate Steve picked me up at 5:45.  The roads were clear at that time of day and we got to Selby just before 9.  It was raining pretty hard for much of the journey but cleared up about 15miles out.
We said our hellos, got changed, unpacked the bikes and were on the road for 9:30.

I didn't fully discover the joys of cycling till later in life so haven't properly explored the roads from back home and was looking forward to trying some of them out.  But, as we were against the clock I ditched the plan to take the scenic route through the countryside and we headed out on the busier main roads instead.

Initially I'd suggested riding approx 25 miles to Harewood House, however once we realised how busy it would be there we revised the plan to head to Pool in Warfedale instead.  It's not that much further away and I imagined it would be less busy than Harewood.  I'd plotted a route and uploaded it to my Garmin, although I knew most of the initial part of the journey very well.  My grandparents lived on the outskirts of Leeds, not too far from where we were headed; as a kid this seemed impossibly far away so the idea of biking it was appealing.

As we set off the roads were still wet but the weather stayed dry, however we were riding into a headwind all the way out.  Neither of us felt on form, the early start taking it's toll and we seemed to be riding up a gradual incline the whole way.

Around Moortown the road was blocked; the A61 was being used for the ride out from Leeds to Harewood House and crowds had already massed at the roundabout.  We got off and weaved our way through the narrow path.  Once through, the road was closed to motor vehicles and we found we were able to ride the wrong way along the dual-laned A6120.  From here we deviated from roads I knew and headed along the country lanes between Adel and Eccup Reservoir towards Bramhope.  From here we had brilliant views across Warfedale and finally had a speedy descent into the dale towards Pool.

We'd had no real idea what we'd do when we got there but assumed we'd be struggling to see over the crowds already massed at the railings.  As we arrived we were greeted by a "Race Maker" marshall who asked if we fancied riding on the course and then finding a spot to watch from a little further through the town.  A combination tiredness and surprise meant we didn't really register what he'd said at first but once it dawned on us we jumped at the chance.  He parted the barriers for us and we set off.

The streets were lined with spectators and as we sped along they were cheering us on; they clearly knew we weren't competitors but were getting into the spirit of things and it was a brilliant experience, especially as it was all completely unexpected.

We passed through Pool and found an area where the crowds had thinned out where we set up and waited for the pack.  We spent about 40 mins here soaking up the atmosphere, watching the Red Arrows flying over and refuelling.

A small lead bunch passed first, followed a minute later by the remaining 200ish riders.

Once they'd passed we rode up and down the stretch looking at all the chalk messages spectators had written for the riders.

We headed back into Pool then followed the GPS route out towards Harrogate.  We weren't the only ones with this plan and even though I'd taken us along a little country lane the road was heaving with bikes and cars. It was only 8-10 miles to Harrogate, but those 8-10 miles were were mostly straight up and we were worryingly low on spare gears at some points.  We refuelled again on the outskirts of Harrogate, before heading in and exploring the event.


The main event village was out of bounds as you couldn't take bikes in and we weren't prepared to leave them while we went in, but there was still lots to see.  All the team coaches were parked up and crowds were milling about everywhere, the one thing we couldn't find was the finish!  As we were discussing it a really helpful bloke overheard us and helped us work out where it was an how to get there.

Once again there was much fighting our way through crowds but we eventually found a way onto the course.

We rode the final mile or so several times, until the marshals shouted that we needed to clear the course ready for the race to come through.

We found a spot, by a dry stone wall, on a bend with a slight incline leading into Harrogate which seemed like a good spot to spectate and then we waited...

We'd got here with plenty of time to spare, and spent a couple of hours relaxing in the sun waiting for the competitors.

First came the carnival floats (aka advertisers) and at one point I was nearly run over by some speeding McCain Oven chips and a Fruit Shoot car!

 

Eventually the pack came into view... 

I snapped away like mad with my camera-phone and was lucky enough to capture a shot of Cavendish being led out by his team mates (he's the 5th one back with the black over shoes)!

After the riders had passed we headed after them into Harrogate, along with hundreds of other spectators.

Even though it was only a couple of miles, it took around 45 mins to get through Harrogate and out the other side, we decided there was little point staying for the ceremony as we'd not get close and time was ticking on.  We finally had some reward from the morning's headwind and absolutely flew the 15 miles from Harrogate, through Knaresborough and on to York.












After a quick sightseeing tour of the city and a recce of where the following day's ride would be starting we left York and wound our tired legs on to Selby.

We called in at Mr C's chippy and then on to my folks', after a quick refuel we headed back home, arriving around 11:30pm.


The full route can be seen here; http://app.strava.com/activities/162160639